Ruth Whingates / Dixson (1844 - 1924)

It is difficult to write about family conflict.  You want to present both sides and carefully put actions into perspective.  I found some very detailed information about Robert Dixson, the brother of Isabella Dixson, which painted him in a terrible light (in my view). I put the information together and decided I wouldn’t post the story onto the blog because I felt that I didn’t really know everything about him: for example, he may have had a brain tumour, or mental illness which dictated his actions. I decided to post the story: I wasn’t being wholly negative about Robert, and he wasn’t all bad, just as the rest of the family wasn’t all good!  So I posted and almost immediately took the story down. Not because it was terrible, but because I realized that the story I’d told would be much more positive if written from the point of view of his wife, Ruth. SHE survived!  And I like to think that she survived well (not that I really know!). So this is the story of Ruth Whingates / Dixson.

Ruth Whingates was born New South Wales, Australia in 1844. Her parents were Rosannah and James. Her childhood is quite difficult to determine. You would think that Whingates would be easy to trace, but there are quite a number of variations and not all events appear to be registered. It seems that potentially very soon after her birth, perhaps even just before, her father died, and her mother remarried James Gregg in 1846. Her mother then died in 1856 at the age of 32. 

On 2 February 1865 she married Robert Dixson in Parramatta, Sydney, after an engagement of two years. They married at James Gregg's house by Robert's brother-in-law. Robert was 21 and had known Ruth since he was about twelve years old.  Robert was the son of Helen and Hugh Dixson, a tobacco manufacturer, and he worked in the family business.  

At first the marriage was happy and around 1869 Ruth, Robert and their two young sons, Hugh Robert, born 1865 and Robert Frederick, born 1867, moved to Melbourne.  It was Robert’s intention to build up the family company in Victoria.  Apparently, once in Melbourne, Robert started drinking alcohol heavily and his behavior changed.  He particularly argued with his father and brother about progress of the company in Victoria and a decision was made to split the company; with Robert working alone in Victoria.  The split was exceedingly bitter. Robert believed that his father had treated him unfairly and told the Sydney based family that they were not welcome to visit his house.  During this time Ruth and Robert had a further three children; Lillian Helen born 1870; Walter Herbert born 1871; and Frank Ernest born 1873 – Frank died in 1874. In around 1875 Robert started being violent towards Ruth – including threatening her with a carving knife, hitting her and verbally abusing her.

By 1878 he was a physical and mental wreck from excessive use of alcohol, including suffering from hallucinations.  He sought medical help because he was worried about his mental state.  Ruth would try to ensure there was no alcohol in the house! The family moved to Adelaide in about 1880 and in 1881 Robert was a member of the South Australian Parliament. 

In January 1882 Ruth went to England to look after the education of their sons Hugh Robert and Walter. Walter was blind and the family though there would be more options for him in England. When she returned, Robert met her at the dock drunk.  On the way to their house, Ruth discovered that Robert had been living with a woman named Alice.  After a argument, Robert paid for Alice to go to England and then wrote a letter to her saying that she couldn’t impersonate as his wife any longer and that he had ensured that his Will would assist his true wife (this letter was not sent to Alice, but found in Robert’s possessions later).  Robert’s behavior continued to be erratic and he was known as “Old Mad Dixson”.  On Hugh Robert’s return to Australia, Robert became aggressive towards him, for reasons that were not clear. Robert’s brother, Hugh Dixson, gave support to his nephew and this also made Robert very angry.  As a result Hugh Robert went to work for his uncle’s tobacco company in Perth, Western Australia.

On 29 March 1889 Ruth’s second son, Robert Frederick, was found dead at the Palace Hotel, Bourke Street, Melbourne.  He had a gunshot wound to the head; with an inquest determining that he had committed suicide.  The family argued for a finding of ‘death by misadventure’ – saying he had accidentally shot himself in the head while attempting to put his revolver under his pillow.  It is not known what they really felt; perhaps they wanted to avoid the stigma of suicide.

Soon after this Robert left Australia for England.  On his death on 27 November 1891, at the age of 48, in Hull England, his family was surprised to discover that he had recently changed his will and bequeathed all his assets, worth between £30,000 and £40,000 to the University of Melbourne for scholarships. 

Ruth and three surviving children made a decision to contest the will on the basis that he was not fully in control of his mind.  This must have been a difficult decision, because in effect the family was exposing all of Robert’s erratic behavior in the years leading to his death.  A number of newspapers included reports of the case, as the family were well known in NSW, Victoria and South Australia.  Indeed, most of the above information was taken from an article in the South Australian Register on Saturday 26 November 1892 that reported on Ruth’s testimony.  It should be noted that even reports sympathetic to Robert include many of the same ‘facts’ but with statements that these activities did not indicate madness!

The case was brought to the courts in Melbourne in November 1892.  On 21 November, the solicitor who drew up the Will for Robert was on the witness stand to say that Robert was of sound mind – notwithstanding that he could be drunk and cruel (what a charming solicitor).  Ruth provided letters that had been sent to her from Robert.  The Adelaide Advertiser reported on the contents of the letters on 22 November 1892.  He wrote that his two older sons Hugh and Robert were ‘disgraceful’; that Hugh ‘was a sneak and a cur’ (not sure if this was a reference to his son or his brother); and that Ruth had: ‘disjointed my life in your vain attempt to lead me to your ways;’ treated him as a machine for making money and that he regarded her ‘not as a woman but as a devil.’  The Horsham Times reported on 22 November 1892 the view that Robert had a wit and was a cynic, and that if he was mad it was ‘conditioned by considerable method’. It was also reported that Robert was fined in England for not completing his Census paper correctly and had greeted his brother-in-law, a Baptist Minister, wearing just a dressing gown! These examples were given to show that Robert was not mad, but simply a very cynical person!  The case concluded on Monday 28 November when the University and the family reached a compromise position.  Ruth received £9000; the University received half of the remainder and the family received the other half. 

Hugh Robert legally changed his surname to Denison on the basis that it was confusing to work with his uncle when they had the same name.  One could hardly fault Hugh for this decision, whatever the reason!

Ruth and her two other children, Lillian and Walter, moved to England permanently: although she returned to visit on a number of occasions.  Lillian married John Terry Little on 15 August 1896 in Chelsea, England, and had five children. Walter, despite his blindness, earned a Masters Degree from Oxford and worked tirelessly for the blind, in translations of books into Braille, speaking engagements and establishing education units. Walter married Lorna Lucinda Adams on 27 December 1823 at the age of 52.

Ruth died on 19 March 1924, age 80.  She did not remarry!

Relationship to SNR = sister in law of great-great-great grandmother